Tonight I learned that my husband has been utterly
disappointed with me for a long time and our family struggles because i don't
have a job….
I was told I'm not an author, I'm not even a teacher…I was
told a great many things that were hurtful, but what I told myself was far more
important….i don't feel that way about myself and why can't I write in my spare
time, when I'm not complaining about doing everything for my kids….absolutely
everything…….
I wish I married a man who screamed I love you and fought as
much as my husband just did with me proclaiming his love for his kids and how I'm
going to take them away from him…
And where exactly am I going to take them? He must have
forgotten for a brief moment in his fury that I don't have a job……
I was accused of making things up that are documented…..
He is the champion for anyone I am against……over and over
again…..
He has never been my champion……at least I always have…..
I'm lying in the middle of the bed like I used to long ago
before marriage and kids….before anything I know now….because I wouldn't give
up and move over and let someone who hates me sleep next to me…….
I wish the world could see him throwing things and calling
me insane and accusing me of making things up because what else do I have to do
since I don't work every day….and I'm embarrassed to say when the question of
him cheating arose he said "who would want this" and jostled his big belly I thought
'I did' and my what a fool I've been for loving him…..
Two people came together and had some children…and sometimes
that's all they can have I suppose……
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