Thursday, March 29, 2012

3 months of head spillage


1/1/2012

The stories of noble birth and lineage sadden me so, we have laws stating we are all to be treated equally, but we aren’t truly.  Tears fill my soul and leak out of my face when I realize I’ll never amount to much of anything in this land so full of opportunity.  They honor uniqueness at every turn and claim that a peasant can become a king; I say it’s a lie!  For years I’ve put pen to paper and for what, perhaps I should have just let it all burn, every page along with every thought.  The fates are to blame, those three, they made this life for me and it cannot be changed.  And it’s my suffering that pleases them and the gods as well.  Humanity is what interests me; it has seemingly been forgotten in so many places.  What can anyone learn from me if I am to remain unrecognized?   That will be my challenge I suppose, to make the smallest of differences without recognition, because my heart will allow me to grow into a true noble being and golden kings won’t compare to my heart’s social standings.  With the fashioning of letters together to make more than sounds, thoughts if you will, I have found the courage to open my heart and spill my head.  Perhaps you will hold out a cup, fill it, and drink in some of what I have to say?

1/5/2012

I find of late that I am rushing through things I do not wish to do.  If you happen to see scorch marks on your cake, you may also discover where exactly my loyalty lies.  I’d also wager my life, being what it is worth as a lowly baker in this kingdom that many of royal birth have eaten that which the likes of my kind have spat upon!  Today I am holding a cake in contempt and I have not decided if this contempt cake will be frosted.

1/9/2012

The written word, it is absolutely limitless; I have found a bit of inspiration today and from something as non equivocal as my hair.  I cannot seem to imagine the world without writers, what would become of all the actors who are addicted to such things as only words can bring.  They would all stand around looking stupendous of course as they always do, but with a hint of stupidity about since they wouldn’t have a damned thing to do!  But funny that acting is considered something of astonishment to those who watch.  Perhaps we should all act out a bit, and have our performances judged as well.

1/11 2012

Impatience has never been called a virtue.  Today I am plagued with impatience.  It is difficult as well as frustrating to attempt to dress in tomorrow’s clothing when it seems I haven’t even shed what I have been wearing since yesterday.  Biding my time within the pages of another’s successes, perhaps it will calm me, perhaps it will motivate me, it has not, and it seems to be infuriating me.  A most unpleasant discourse is occurring, what to do, what to do?  Dare I say nothing and let this pass as things tend to do.  Children and dragons seem to grow as they are supposed to, without hindering or encouragement from others. 

1/12/2012

It has yet to pass and the children and dragons must be fed.  I am preparing their feast while garbed in somberness.

The walls here may not be dressed in yellow, but somehow drowning in them is manageable.  They seem to trap me, my only escape is through paper, but even those moments are briefly lived.   If only I were bound inside a story along with the pages.  I could be a character and live and die when it is required of me.  I would love passionately and fight heroically.  If only.  

1/13/2012

I am lost somewhere between the want and the need; if not for the children and dragons nothing would steady me.  But steadied I am as well as determined, a respite is required of me, it is time to put a rest to all my thinking, perhaps a dream will revive that which I intend to say to you. 

1/16/2012

Luck, I’ve recently tried mine, it would seem that success is more suited to mate with persevering hard work rather than luck.  And what would a match of these two bring as opposed to the foolishness of luck?  The success that comes by way of perseverance leaves a better taste on the tongue. 

I’m wide awake while the children and dragons sleep, but they will wake again and I must tend to their needs.  My needs must remain small if my desires are to have any place at all. 

1/17/2012

Dust may be our fate, but we can be as sweet as powdered sugar while we live.  We can sprinkle ourselves and bring joy to many, or a select few.  Occasionally to revel in a moment is far better than having an unforgotten name or life.  But oftentimes, I urge time to pass with a yearning to see those children and dragons grown to full size.

1/18/2012

Today I am who I want to be and I am playing the part well.  There is still persevering hard work to be done, but I’m finding joy in it. 

1/20/2012

I am being inconveniently plagued, once again, by the selfish desires of others.  I am tending to my own flock; please do not burden me again with an insisting vat of nonsense. 

1/23/2012

Individual success may be produced by a vat of influences.  I am severely influenced and when I look back I can almost grasp my forgotten successes. Can it be that easy?  I have never proclaimed myself naive, but oh please tell me it can be so.

 It would seem I have found a knight to do my bidding.  A substantial courage has risen in me.  If this knight’s pretenses are false I shall know that this knight is not fit to seat himself at my round table.

1/24/2012

There are days that go by without a written word, those days are for listening, taking it all in, whatever it all is.  A weapon can be contrived from a watchful eye, a similar weapon to that of a pen.

1/27/2012

The knight was just a man hiding under his armor; he has been released from duty, for I am armed with greater weapons than falsehood. 

1/29/2012

The false knight, the children and the dragons have caused a delay.  But the dragons can almost breathe fire and the children are growing as well.  The false knight will be cooked in his armor, because the dragons are loyal to me. 

My hopes are that the children will find success with less difficulty.  I will have the dragons ignite a path; I’ll travel along the path and I’ll remember that it is important to turn and look in the direction from which I came. 

1/30/2012

What use is a dictionary without a sunset?  I have words, many words, yet images fail to accommodate me.  Vulnerable to existence in such a visual place, here I can only present my black and white double-spaced face.

1/31/2012

The dragons have spread their wings and taken flight.  The children have simulated flight with imagination and leverage.  I am waiting and I am wanting, but I am not longing, I am living.

2/1/2012

Why do we scorn the pigeons when we feed the ducks?  Those pigeons are naturally inclined to swoop down and eat when food is visible and within their reach.   Nature is full of these occurrences and we choose to fatten some ducks and starve some pigeons, for various reasons. 

2/4/2012

Miscellaneous me, past the point of sleep, how I wish I could offer more, but I cannot. 

2/7/2012

Slumbering due to a commonality that plagues us all, I am restless and my thoughts have left imprinted words on my pillow. 

A humble servant of humanity often indulges in humility.  In a year’s time this accomplishment will be small, but I’ll claim it as mine.  Narcissism shows its face on occasion; will you validate it if you have found favor in any of the proverbial like, prose citations? 

2/9/2012

Confusion presents itself when I cannot tell if I have a burning desire for accomplishment or if the heat of dragonfire is igniting my thoughts.    

2/10/2012

Eyes that have been forced open by a mind that is driven by success.  Dreams are no longer permitted.  The world is vast and the eyes and mind of this being are lost in it, unless the world decides to look back through these eyes and seek this mind. 

2/12/2012

When the performances are all forgotten, words written are all that will remain.  When everything is lost, the only way to regain any of it is through written documentation.  What are we without our written language, beasts, beasts that fail in magnificence. 

Children sleep and so shall I, I won’t dream, because doings are what lead us to our destiny not the blur of night and sleep. 

2/14/2012

The moments I claim have been won in battle.  When the moments become endless, what will I fight for then?

2/15/2012

Lack of sorcery to elevate me, unless of course I type some in, perhaps I will, I am becoming tired of this futile life.

If I harness the power of the sun and let the moon turn me into a wildling at night, I could be gruesome and magnificent; I could be the bringer of fear and delight. 

 If I am truly where I belong why does my heart weep the queerest of songs?

A terrible queen to enslave us all and an ogre mother who eats her young.  The fairy tales will end and the grim stories will rise.

Green of flesh with a baby filled belly, Mother Ogre will sleep well tonight!

2/17/2012

Severing the waiting time swings a sickle in a crop that has yet matured.  Does corn yearn to grow as much as I do? 

2/19/2012

The want for naught and everything is most unsettling.  Breath eludes me now in a world so full of cruelty.  Lack of compliancy, yet murder has never come into play.  Hacking frivolity would presume to make me one of them.  The past lays dead.  Tomorrow is today, yet what have I accomplished.   

If time is what is required of me, I will do my best to fill it with pleasantries.     

2/21/2012

I am Mechanical Me, stumbling, with all of my responsibilities. 

2/23/2012

Wraith kings disrupt humanity; even in death their unquenchable desire for power lacks appeasement. 

2/24/2012

Due to the gloom of today, the warm sun of yesterday has been forgotten.

Surviving in a place that lacks consistency, my disposition has been compromised.  I fear I have been eating so many lies.   Craving the truth has stirred my appetite, and now I hunger. 

And now I weep.

Reading will cure this ailed writer.  Perhaps, you will read what I have written; humbled and pathetic I offer this plea.

2/27/2012

Innocence often dies, particularly when youth is compromised by obscenity and lies.

It is a fault in humanity to parent abomination, yet the seed is never halted.

Pushing aside the woes of this day, death surrounds life and death is constant, but life claims victory over death. 

2/28/2012

Reoccurring dreams of dragons, full grown, fire breathing and taking flight.  Reality, a dragon egg unhatched and a slight wind from the northeast. 

Daring to dream again ignites the wonderment of reality.

I’m appealing for recognition from a barrier that is indifferent.    

Random thoughts and random insanity, these are only random pieces of me.

3/2/2012

If the dead have the ability to wield weapons, I will carry a sword and put my maker to it.  Queries that have been unanswered in life will not be welcomed at death.  Life’s justice will be served when the maker of agony has been slain. 



Similar to a babe at a breast, the unabridged dictionary is bound to my chest. 

3/12/2012

A journey halted allows travelers time to breath in sunshine and warmth as well as possibilities. A journey resumed attempts to conquer fear and gloom.  Fear and gloom are feigning paradise this day.

If reality can be created by what can be imagined, then I am delighted by the things I imagine and I dread the things others are able to imagine.  

3/13/2012

A faded beauty, bedraggled, she now flaunts her intellect while in the midst of suitors. 

3/16/2012

Oft times the obvious lays victim and forgotten, regret will find a dwelling if that which was left for dead and fell into oblivion is not sought and found. 

3/17/2012

The castles are naught but ruins, yet lice still dwell in our hair, and the notion of being civilized is more than humorous in a world that isn’t quite fair. 

3/18/2012

Being sheltered by the norm disregards the violence of the storm.

3/20/2012

The merriment of words can only be offered a deaf ear whilst the battlefield calls with a sound of urgency. 

3/22/2012

When our mouths are pried open by anger, the slightest attempt to shut them is nothing less than a triumphant act of composure.

3/23/2012

The smallfolk are not to be equated with the folk that are small of mind, from the smallfolk kingly minds may rise.  

A chalice of knowledge if you would please, I have an unquenchable thirst.

Dragons soaring high above the clouds, if you cannot see them it certainly must not be, do you agree?

I cannot abide by such a monstrous lie, for that which cannot be seen is simply not ready to be revealed. 

3/24/2012

Retching things that have no use relieves us, providing us with clarity and an immediate hunger for something more appealing.