'Happy
Birthday Jerk'
Dear sir or madam,
either which I care not, for your 9.99 purchase affects me in the least.
I do and did apologize
that said purchase, the harry potter shirt, did not fit the intended recipient,
your fat sister. How cruel I am to say
such a thing, but I am rather kind as you were rude and most likely lying about
this claim, people often do, to 'pull one over' on the seller and receive free
items. But if indeed the 'I speak parseltongue'
shirt size 2X did not fit 'your sister' and you do not care that I own one as
well and have had a swim or two in it, noting its rather largeness, I can only
offer you advice and nothing else. The
shirt is from hot topic, the franchised store that attempts to represent the
cool or punk individual, yes just re-read that if you will please. Don't understand, I certainly didn't expect
you to. You will not ship it back to me
for a refund, because ironically shipping is too expensive, but only on your
end, and you work at the post office.
Excuse me I'm having a good laugh here.
Alright I've managed to lift myself off the floor to continue, which
reminds me of your fat sister......the one the shirt doesn't fit……your campaign
sir or madam should be aimed at the fashion industry, else how dare you expect
your fat sister to fit into a trendy t-shirt designed for smaller stature
figures. Any who you have a great cause
set before you, and I implore you to crush the fashion industry with the weight
of your fat sister, who may indeed speak parseltongue but will not be able to
boast about it while wearing a t-shirt.
I will do my best to steer clear of any other buyers in the future who
wish for me to enclose a note of 'happy birthday jerk' along with the item
being sent to a different address per the buyer's request. As for your niece who is supposedly wearing
the shirt because it fits wonderfully, I am pleased someone will enjoy it. And your blatant tone of 'now my sister has
nothing for her birthday!' might I suggest you spend another $10 on her, she is
your sister after all. Like I said in a
previous reply we are all worm fodder, thank you for reminding me, and how
truly little your problems are in this great big world.
In the words of
Bilbo Baggins, 'I say good day to you sir!' or madam……
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